Jesus, Thank You

This is one of the greatest songs I've ever heard. I don't know who wrote it. But I love them. Oh, and just so you know Calvary was the place where Jesus was tortured and executed.

The mystery of the cross I cannot comprehend
The agonies of Calvary
You the perfect Holy One, crushed Your Son
Who drank the bitter cup reserved for me

Your blood has washed away my sin
Jesus, thank You
The Father’s wrath completely satisfied
Jesus, thank You
Once Your enemy, now seated at Your table
Jesus, thank You

By Your perfect sacrifice I’ve been brought near
Your enemy You’ve made Your friend
Pouring out the riches of Your glorious grace
Your mercy and Your kindness know no end

Lover of my soul
I want to live for You

The Most Holy Place

In Ancient Israel there was a small part of the temple, sectioned off by a thick curtain, called the Most Holy Place, this was the place where God 'dwelled', and that the high priest was allowed to enter. Once a year. After ceremonial washing and oil on his head. And he had to bring a sacrifice. If he was the slightest bit unclean he would die instantaneously.

But during Jesus' death the curtain in the temple ripped from top to bottom, showing that there was no longer a barrier or any arduous ceremonies in order to 'get to God', but that God's dwelling place was now with men. That's crazy.

It means that to 'get to God' or to 'talk to Him' all I have to do is just that. Talk. No ceremonial washings or killing small animals, I just talk. And its so easy to just casually meander into the 'Most Holy Place' without realising the massive privilege that it is.

Time for a Change

Last Sunday at youth group I spoke passionately about how; 'I'm so sick of wasting my time! Why do I need to spend hours scrolling through Facebook?' And I was so ready to change everything, and to get rid of worthless things and fill my life with things that are entirely worthwhile, read good books, and think deep thoughts, and catch up with old friends. But do you know what I did as soon as I got home? Yep, I spent hours scrolling through Facebook.

But for reals, I am SICK of wasting my life, and I do want to fill my life with books, and thoughts and friends. I don't want a life jam packed with meaningless, but overflowing with things that are actually worth my time! Come on, its time for a change.

Heavenly Father; Dad, take it all. Take my whole life, and fill it with You.

Spare Change

This afternoon I just became ridiculously frustrated at my helplessness to right the worlds wrongs, and fix the worlds problems. I literally thought; 'I'm a broke teenager, what can I do? No matter what I do, I'm just chipping away at a wall with a tiny pick-axe, and it's too big for me to tackle. It feels like the statistics of hunger, poverty, child labour and slavery just climb higher and higher every time I look at them.' Its always unsettled me, but never quite to this extent, I basically didn't speak (which, trust me, is a big thing) for quite a while and wore a hoodie and other crazy teenage rebel things. It was a deep frustration, much deeper then probably ever before.

Call me a wide-eyed, dreamy teenager, but I was thinking about what my spare change could do, seriously, if I saved every 5c piece and dollar coin, what could I end up with? Well, it only takes $7 to free a slave, so I'd say a lot, and I also realised that it's not just me (duh), there are entire organisations committed to eradicating injustices in this world, and as corny as it sounds; the only way we can make a difference is by working together. (What did I tell you? It's corny.)


*I feel like blog posts can often get really long and arduous without a break, so right here, right now, get up, go for a walk around the room, and then continue reading :)*

Also, in a kind of related but not really way, I've been getting weirdly anxious about things post-school, like money and how I'll afford everything in life and who I'll marry and how I'll handle the job I want, and balance everyday life along with work. I worry about that stuff all the time! I didn't realise how much I did until I was thinking, (at the time I was feeling really worried) 'I feel like a 16 year old with a 20 year olds problems.' And then it hit me, I didn't have to worry about these thing; I knew that I had a creator who had planned out all my days. If Igo without money, he planned it and he is still good, and if I get a different job, he is in control, and he is still good. And so I've prayed that God will give me rest from my burdens, and I know he can do just that!

'Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' - The biography of Jesus, according to Matthew (chapter 6 verse 34)

   'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' - The biography of Jesus, according to Matthew (chapter 11 verse 28)


P.S. Once again, I feel like I've said a lot of words without really saying anything, but sometimes my heart says things that my mouth just can't express. And tonight is one of those nights, there are so many things I just wish I could express, but my inarticulateness gets in the way.

The 'Wizard Of Oz' Christian

I have this little analogy in my head, its been in there for a while, so I thought I might share it with the entire world on the internet.

I think that the Wizard of Oz actually relates a lot to the Christian, sounds random, I know, but bear with me:

- We need a new heart: I think that all sins comes down to the heart, if someone has a proud heart all their sin will be proud. If someone has a lustful, greedy heart, all their sin will be done in lust and with greed. I think for someone to cut sin out of their lives, they must change their hearts first!

- We need a new brain: A perspective that seeks to constantly bring glory to God and work things out to bring us into a closer relationship with Him, and is basically on he same wave-length.

- We need courage: Courage to boldly shout the gospel to everyone, and to spread the word 'as we go.'

- We need to go home: We are not citizens of this Earth, we only inhabit it for 80 years or so, and then we head home, home to our eternal Father, ruling over His eternal estate.

I'm really sorry if this makes little sense; I've had far too little sleep, and far too much to do!

The Real Jesus

'Gentle Jesus, meek and mild.'

Its weird, often when people think of Jesus they picture this really weak guy with flowing brown hair and flowing robes and smooth soft skin, maybe cradling a small adorable child on his lap or cuddling a cute, fluffy lamb and just spoke about things like forgiveness and love . Go to google images and search Jesus. You'll find that guy.

BUT, thats not what Jesus was not like that at all. He was a carpenter for about 18 years of His life, he didn't have the tools of today, so he would have had to use His hands and a few simple tools, maybe a blade, a chisel. But thats all. So, lets just say he would have been ripped. He would have had massive muscular arms and calloused hands.

And yes, its true, you could find Him speaking of forgiveness and love, but the words He spoke were entirely controversial. 'Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.' (found in Matthew 5:44) and claiming that He was the Jews' promised Messiah; which was SO controversial in the Jewish community that it led to His execution on the cruelest instrument of torture.

That doesn't sound like 'Gentle Jesus, meek and mild' does it? I'll let people a lot smarter then me finish this off:

'True, He was the Poet who spoke beautifully of the birds of the air and the lilies of the field. True, He was the folksy storyteller who spun yarns of women baking bread and fishermen hauling in a catch. True, He was the the gentle Nazarene who bounced little children on His lap and made them laugh. True, He was also the silent Prisoner who stood in perfect ease before kings and suffered bitter insults without uttering a word. But Jesus was nonetheless a man. A carpenter with calloused hands. An outdoorsman accustomed to long period in the wilderness. A man who courageously spoke out against the corrupt authorities of His time, calling then "white washed tombs", "blind guides" and "serpents."'

- Josh McDowell & Bob Hosteller in their book: Don't Check Your Brains At The Door: A Book of Christian Evidences

Joy

delight - gladness - pleasure - mirth - rejoicing

Joy can be a difficult thing to find.  Even harder to keep. And almost impossible to get when you're  searching for it. As 'cliche' as this sounds, I think its true: I think you need to find something or someone that gives you joy, rather then go looking for it.

I've been struggling pretty hard with 'finding joy', and let me tell you, getting more 'stuff' doesn't help. Filling life with more 'things' also doesn't help.

Anwyay, I was watching a program in which they followed the lives of 4 white, mostly racist Australians as they lived the lives of refugees, and the thing that I noticed is that a lot of the refugees had unwavering smiles. And they were genuine. They'd seen the horror of war, been stuck in a crowded, rather terrible units, often with confines of about 10msquared. And thats all they had. 10msquared, all day. Every day, but they were smiling and happy... joyful. I don't think there's another word to describe it. And I think it helped me find a solution to my problem, the words of one of the refugees say it perfectly (I wish I could say it in his accent, it was so ridiculously cool):

'We should not ask give us more, but give it more, give life more.'

So maybe, all along, I've been searching for more 'things to do' to make me more joyful, and just 'stuff' to make me more joyful, when really I need to 'give life more'. And so maybe I've been searching in all the wrong place.

'I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.' - Jesus quoted by John in chapter 10 verse 10 of his biography of Jesus' life.

Is this real life? #2

*Ok, hopefully I had a couple of you freaked out there. Yea, I think theres way more to life then the daily routine; and I often think that life will sort of kick off when I leave school; I'll have heaps more free time etc. But free time to do what? To stare at a computer or TV screen, maybe read a good book, read THE good book? I think I'll need more structure; maybe I can get a job and then I can wake up. Get dressed. Go to work. Come home. Stare at a computer screen for a few hours. Stare at a TV for a few more. Go to sleep. Comprende?

Currently; life to me seems nothing more then routine. I want to change this, for a few reasons actually: this is unfulfilling.

Ok, I lied about the other reasons, I've just got the one, but what needs to change?

I need to live a life radically based on Jesus Christ. Whether thats through passionately soaking in his words or telling my friends  the best news ever (!) or working to eradicate poverty or something more attainable.

Anyway, I really want things to actually change in my life.

*To understand this one fully read: Is This Real Life (just down \/ there)

Is This Real Life?

Wake up. Get dressed. Go to school. Come home. Stare at a computer for a few hours. Stare at a TV for a few more. Go to sleep. Wake up. Get ready. Go to school. Come home. Stare at a computer for a few hours. Stare at a TV for a more. Go to sleep. Wake up and do it again. Maybe have an exciting weekend. But then to bed it is! And then wake up. Get dressed. Go to school.

Is this really all there is?

Uncomfortable

I recently went on camp. It was great. And challenging. I need to realise that Christ is King and nothing else in my life should take His place. Not my comfort. Not my popularity. And not my money. Because if those things rule my life then there's no room for Christ. I don't think there's even a point to me claiming to be a Christian if those things rule my life. I need to be ready to be uncomfortable for Christ; Jesus says so in Luke 14:3, whoops, I mean Luke 14:27 (:P) he says: 'And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.' I mean the cross doesn't exactly evoke images of big houses and bigger bank accounts does it? No, it was an instrument of cruel torture reserved for the lowest of criminals. So I have to pick up my uncomfortable cross and follow Christ. I just hope I'm ready.

But, does that mean that to be a Christian I have to purposefully make ourselves as ridiculously uncomfortable as I can? No! But, I think it means  have to be careful with how much I indulge in my comfort. When that indulgence becomes greater then the satisfaction I find in Christ; I think thats where I begin to go wrong. I don't want comfort or popularity to be my 'god' I want God to be my god. I want Christ to be my King.

I truly hope this makes sense.

The Downfall of the Proud

I'm a very proud person, so when I'm not very good at something; its crushing. And it kind of has a domino effect in my life; I realise all my flaws. And no matter what I'm 'good at' I see the flaws within that 'good thing.' So I think thats bad; so I want to change that. But at the same time I don't want to look past the flaws and just see the things that I'm 'good at.' It's a really hard balance to find. But I want to find it - somewhere between proud and depressed.

Craziness

I was just reading my bible when I came across a story about a hectic storm in the middle of a lake, the disciples are all scared for their lives 'and then Jesus got up and rebuked the wind and the waves, and it was completely calm.' And I just sat there and I was like ... cool. Well, I should probably clean up then. Until I rebuked myself and I was like 'HELLO, Jesus just told wind  and waves what to do. And the obeyed Him. Thats not something to 'oh cool' about. Thats something to be completely mind-blown. The wind and the waves OBEY this guy, I can imagine if I was yelling at wind and waves, I'd probably just look really stupid.

I think I've become dulled to the Scriptures, and thats not at all what I want, sure I've been told of Jesus talking to wind and waves, or the creator of the universe coming into an earthly body ALOT of time, but each time should just get me more and more excited.

The Good, the Bad and the Crazy (in reverse order)

I'm still trying to read through the gospel/biography of Jesus' life from Matthews perspective, and I'm still trying to get my head around the crazy things Jesus says. Things that I immediatly go; 'its so easy to do the opposite' or 'oh gosh, thats so hard.' Things like 'do not judge others.' Oh my goodness, not even just a little bit?  And themes of complete submission keep popping up, so like; relying on God for everything and not worrying about what I will wear, or drink or even eat.

Its not easy, in fact its hard to follow Jesus, I mean you sort of get those vibes when He says “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.' (Matthew 13-14) or   'Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.'" Taking up a cross every day doesn't exactly evoke images of happiness or ease. No, its kind of the opposite hey?

Buuut here's the really crazy part, and its true for a lot of life as well not just the Christian walk, often if things are harder, the reward is greater. Its very uncommon that the things that are easyare the things that give the most reward. But in the Christian walk, the reward is truly great; eternal love. As I've said before, every human desires love, often above all other things and God is the only one that gives true, unadultering, unwavering, unconditional love. For ever. Thats a pretty great reward.

Radical Jesus

I've been pretty quiet on here as of late, I've been super busy avoiding homework and stuff. Anyway, lets jump back in:

I've been reading through Matthew in my bible-reading-crazy-fun-times, and its been re-iterated (again) that Jesus isn't someone who calls on half-hearted, half-assed disciples, thats not how he rolls. He calls on them to love their enemies, rejoice in the face of strong and often harmful opposition, be humble in a society that uses 'proud' as a positive word, leave EVERYTHING behind to follow Him.

Am I ready for this? Father, take the rest of my life. Make it radical. Make it Yours.

I'm in love ...

OKAY - this is one characteristic I've found of people who are in love, they just want to spend as much time as they can with said 'loved one.' And any time not spent with them is time wasted.

I've finally discovered that I've fallen in love with God in that sense, the other day I was offered a lift down to the train station and my insides went into a flutter and I began internally freaking out and flatly refused them, and then it hit me. My bus time always = my bible time. I wanted, I longed to spend more time with He who breathed the universe into existence. I've fallen in love with Jesus.

I think I'm really just at the beginning of a massive journey. Journey with me?

All Grown-Up

I remember when I was a little kid looking up to my leaders like they were Jesus. Any fault of theirs could be explained anyway, and they were just SO wise. And ... and they were so grown-up. And so mature, and  so sporty, and ... just so amazing.

Anyway recently, I was on a camp leading these kids, and I suddenly stopped, and I was like ... umm that ... that, that up there ... thats me. I'm the grown up, I'm the mature one (haha) I'm the wise one (haha) I'm the sporty one (HAHA.) I've started driving a car, and earning money, and doing exams that are run by the government. When did I get so old?



Anyway, I'm confused, and I'm sure it shows.

This is how I feel.

This is a song I wrote called consume, this song is exactly how I feel right, everything about it. Its just like my mind oozing out of my pores (umm ... gross image in my head right now ... don't even imagine ... )  This song has pretty much left me in tears, it is so close to my heart. Anyway, I feel like I'm kind of at a stagnant point in my faith, and I just want God to consume me. All of me.

Anyway, after all that 'hype', lower your expectations. Its not that great. Its not super-creative lyric wise, but its just so ... explanatory to me

Take my heart,
Take my life,
Take my everything,
Into you.

Mold my heart,
Mold my mind,
Mold my everything,
(to) be like you.

Consume me,
Take me for all I am,
Consume me,
Take it all.

Make my heart,
Make my mind,
Make my everything,
Like yours.

(instrumental)

Consume me,
Take me for all I am,
Consume me,
Take it all,
Take it all.

I can know everything ABOUT God, but unless I know God ... its nothing.

Act the Part #2

The thing about people acting, is that you often don't realise that they're acting. You think they are that character. And thats what happened to me, and IS happening to so many people right now. People act like they're Christians & convince everyone around them & sometimes even themselves that they love Jesus. And everyone believes it.

I was shocked when someone told me God sees my heart.  He sees my heart. How can I possibly fool Him? 'False face must hide what face heart doth know.' But God saw my false heart, and he sees through my false face.

Blergh, my thoughts are silly ... its far too late at night to be thinking. But I needed to say this. It needed to be said. I just hope I said it well ...

Act The Part

I can play the part of 'the good little Christian boy' to perfection. I've sharpened this little asset so much over the year, I've learned how to speak, how to pray, how to look when I'm singing, how to answer question. Especially the last one, I used to get so bogged down in the quest for the right answer, I missed the whole point of Christianity. A relationship. Thats what Christianity is ... a relationship.

Right now, I yearn for that relationship more then anything., and I yearn for a relationship that just consumes the rest of my life, that every part of my life would be subsumed.

Jesus, take my heart, take my life, take my everything. Consume me.

Regret

There are SO many times in my life I wish I could go back and do over. So many time in my life where I wish I could go back in time and punch my little self in the face, and then tell him off. Or tell myself NOT to say something, or do something.

Regret to me is all of the above. Those moments of stupidity that I just replay ... over and over in my head. Most of them ... actually, come to think of it ALL of them are things that I've been caught 'red-handed' doing, or have been in a conversation and someone's spotted something's amiss.

Maybe this shows me who I'm concerned with pleasing? People, who by the next time I see them will have forgotten my 'embarrassing moment.' Or ... The God who knows my heart & who has ALREADY forgiven me, laid down his life for me & will love me eternally. I'm gonna go with that option. But sometimes its hard for me to understand that when I can't see Him, but people are right in front of me, and they're just so easy to please ... and displease.

Gah, sometimes my scrambled thoughts don't even make sense to me, so I hope they make sense to you.

A god we can trust.

I've been reading Daniel lately, Daniels a great little book in the bible; but its almost like every page I turn, God's doing something INSANE through Daniel. Daniel has no option but to trust God. And boy does God come through.

So the story starts off as Daniel's people are being exiled to Babylon, and he (as an Israelite) is fed on fancy food - like meat & wine. But he (& friends) refuse, on behalf of Jewish law. After a few weeks, they're all 'medically' tested and found to be just as strong and healthy as the others.

Then he tells the king what he dreamed & interprets it perfectly.

Then his friends get chucked into a fire SO hot that the guards delivering them to the furnace burn up and die. Somehow they survive.

Then Daniel correctly predicts the future.

Then he gets thrown into a den filled with hungry, savage lions ... and survives.

So, Daniel puts his faith in God, and God comes through. This is the same God I worship today, He's the same yesterday, today and forever. He's not going to change. So I can put that same trust in the same God. And He'll come through. He'll save me from anything - so why am I so afraid to proclaim His name?

Tickin' the boxes

I feel like lately, I've been slipping into something I used to do, someone I used to be.  Doing things just so I can say (or so God can know) that I've done them. Its as though I go through life with a little list of things to do in my day (pray, read the bible, pray on the way to school, don't swear, keep a cool head, don't get too bossy etc.) And then, God's gonna love me. Hurrah. Or, and then, I'll be accepted by my people. Hooray.

Ultimately, I reckon it boils down to my view of God. Is he easily impressed. Or does he know my heart fully? I'm gonna go with the second option hey? God knows if I'm just doing it to impress, or to 'gain his blessing' and well ... frankly ... it doesn't impress him. Not at all. He wants full devotion to him, not half-hearted box-ticking.

My thought-train just kind of crashed. Unfortunately all passengers were killed. So it looks like thats as far as I'm going ...

P.S. Sorry for the lame joke ... I'm very tired.

Overflowing

I often use phrases like 'overflowing with praise' or 'just filled up so much, that I overflowed with contempt.'

Pretty recently I've been totally underflowing with praise. I can barely keep it up for 3 sentences. Not only until recently have I been empty with my praise ... the really odd thing is this happens almost every year, around this time of the year, I think I've said this before, but the clouds come out, and I just get bogged down. I don't enjoy myself as much, I'm nowhere near as joyful. But the other odd thing is that I think more, and I dig deeper inside myself. And I'm more content, while being less joyful and exuberant.

Anyway, I'm really challenged to praise God in all situations. Pray for me.

The Complacent Christian

If you follow Christ, this is probably more directed at you then those who don't. Sorry.

What the heck?? Does a complacent Christian even exist?? This is how wordweb.com defines complacent: contented to a fault with oneself or one's actions. Umm ... yea.

I've seen a number of far older & far more mature Christians just peppering their conversations with swearing (and not even feeling bad, or feeling sorry.)

Hello?? 'Hate what is evil, cling to what is good.' Romans 12:9.

1 Peter 2:12 says: 'Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.'

Some would argue that the bible never mentions swear words specifically Firstly: thats a stupid argument. Secondly: ... DUH!! The bible was written 2000+ years ago, and most swear words came about 40 years ago.

Again, some would argue that its all about the intention, I would bring them back 1 Peter 2:12. How would a non-Christian react to someone blurting out swearing. Would it bring glory to God, or detract from it??

Sorry, my thoughts aren't collected, but I hope you understand.

I will never ...

I pray that I will never (or never again) :-

- Be content to just 'fit in.' Instead of being like a city of light on a hill, in a world full of darkness. (Matthew 5:14-16)

- Have wisdom for the sake of wisdom. I want ... I NEED wisdom for the glory of God. I don't want to even be ok with wisdom for self-glorification.

- Fall away from Jesus. You see, Jesus is constant, Jesus is a rock that never moves, (just look at Hebrews 13:8.) I however, am a man, a fickle man. I know that the relationship I have right now with Jesus is real, and that it goes both ways, but I pray that never will I let him chase after me, while I float down the easy path, too lazy to change course.

- Hide things from my family in Christ.

- Let feelings come before fact. My relationship with Jesus is based on fact, cold, hard fact; fact that he existed, the truth of his claims etc. And emotions fluctuate, they go up and down, and sure there will be times in my walk when things are down, but I want to know the fact that Christ is king before I feel it.

Pray for me?

To Be Loved

There is a desire inside every person to be loved. To be truly loved. And we feel so let down when people don't love us properly, but lets face facts. People will always let us down, we know it. Marriages these days can barely be called 'lasting.' And those that are are riddled with thorns & hard bits.

While this blog post may seem dark, & for some people hard to read. I actually want it to be a ray of hope, let me explain; humans are always going to let us down, and its very sad ... so very sad. But there is a God, a God who throughout the bible shows us real love. Unrequited love for the Israelites throughout the Old Testament & completely sacrificial love as Jesus is nailed to a cross. There's a God out there waiting to show me love, real, strong, steadfast love. And I continually reject it by ignoring him, by giving him the smallest amount of time I can a day, instead of all of my time.

I'm such a fool.

God, thanks for your crazy love.

Living Below The Line

Today I started my week of hunger, my week of empathy. For those of you who don't know, I'm living below the extreme poverty line, which is a measly $2. I mean, in one sitting at a cafe most of us will spend 5 times that, and thats just a snack. This is what people are living with every day. Every single day of their lives, they live on less then $2 a day. And I'm just doing it for food and I'm starving, they have to use it for accommodation, travel (a lot travel to & from their extremely low-paying jobs), entertainment (if they get any.) 

It's horrifying to think that 1.4 billion people in the world live like that. Right now.

When I have time ...

In my life pre-God, whenever I had time I would fill it with reading (yea, I was the nerdy kid) which then progressed into singing, sitting at home practicing my soprano part. But now, well, I try to give God my every spare moment, but for some reason I just keep slipping up. I'll find myself with a different book (often facebook) in my hand or on the screen, the wrong tune in my head, and I'll realise that I'm not doing what I should be. Every spare moment should be spent with my God, because nothing is greater then knowing my Creator. There aren't enough words in my vocabulary to express my thanks to God. There aren't enough feelings in me to feel the sorrow I should for my screw-ups.

So, why? Why am I not overflowing with praise? Why are my conversations peppered with pride & seasoned with humour, instead of peppered with grace & seasoned with Jesus. I want to give Jesus every conversation that I have, but I don't. I want to give him every spare moment to just stop, and just talk or listen to him. But I don't. I just don't.

I want to give You my everything, but somethings holding me back.

God, change me. Please.

I'm afraid of dying.

Ok, for those of you who don't know. I recently past my L's test, but before (after failing the first time) I REALLY didn't want to walk through those doors, & do my test. As I took the ticket from the machine my hands were trembling. I didn't want to fail again. But, I did want to get my L's, but in that moment I could barely see a life post-test. But when I finally got my L's, I just couldn't contain my smile.


I view death in the same way, I can't wait to be dead. I can't wait until I get to spend an eternity with my loving  & incredible creator. But I can't bear the thought of dying, the pain, the tears I will envision glinting off my friend & families cheeks. I can't bear the thought, and it makes me so sad that I have to die. I often can't see through death to heaven.


As if I wouldn't be pumped for this: (yea, I know I've put it a couple of times, but in case you couldn't tell, the bible never gets old) 
‘"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelations 21:4

Beautiful Child/Run

I'm not quite sure what to call this yet, but I wrote it when I was quite upset about this. I'll tell you what its about at the end, because I want you to read it from your perspective, not one I've shoved down your throat.

Beautiful child,
In chains,
I can barely hear your strangled lullaby,
Your shackles scream louder then you.

The dreaded sun,
Will rise,
On another hopeless, burdened day,
You can barely endure.

I say,
Run,
Run to the freelands,
Away from tomorrow,
Away from the past. (x2)

When will it end?
Your chains,
When will I see your hands be freed,
To do as you wish as they would.

I say,
Run,
Run to the freelands,
Away from tomorrow,
Away from the past.

Oh,
I wish you could run,
Run,
Run to the freelands,
Away from tomorrow,
Away from the past,
Away from him.


This song was written about the terrible issue of slavery, currently there are 30 million slaves being treated as though they have no tomorrow. Which most of them don't, and its thoroughly depressing, and its hard for me, as a North Shore-ian who has the choice to do almost anything on a daily basis to empathise. But if you want more info (and I pray you do) http://www.thefreedomproject.org/

I believe its part of God's plan for my life to help eradicate slavery. I want to help re-abolish slavery.

Sometimes, its really hard to see why God would invent heartbreak. Create fear. Design tears. The thought often crosses my mind; if God is so loving, and kind. Why would he do that.

The talk tonight at my youth group covered this question, almost directly, the talk was packed full of goodness, but one of the tiny little tangents. And even though it wasn't the main point of Nicky's talk, it was something I definitely took it away.

All she said was: God keeps his promises. Which got me thinking about this promise, that I want you to think about in the context of God's promise keeping: ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelations 21:4


And then, I thought about the fact that I am thoroughly convicted that God has an indescribably perfect plan for my life. And sometimes it hard to see how God's plan works through the tears, but its there, and for real, I honestly just need to trust that its there. Even through the tears,




Thank you Nicky Baker. The inspiration for this post, and the 'trend setter' & spokesperson for that awkies sitch in 20-legs. Thank you Jesus. The motivation for everything I do.

In Comparison

I've been thinking about comparison recently,  so, for example at FNACC (Kids church that I lead), because of my age, I'm' massive', and have developed 'muscles' that, in comparison to them, make me really good at sport. But then, I get to my biblestudy group, and suddenly, I'm clearly the worst player. Like, seriously I'm so unco-ordinated. They're all agile, quick and the like. And then there's me. Ridiculously unco.

A lot of people do this with how 'good' they are. We compare ourselves to each other, (and I'm one of the worst offenders.) I'm always like, 'oh, but its ok, I am way better then that Steve kid. God's clearly gonna accept me because I'm better then him. But then again, Poppy's pretty great, I'll never be as good as her, oh man, I give up.'

As though I could get before the throne of God, and go 'Oh, do you remember that one time I did the dishes without even being asked, and Steve just sat there, see look, I'm WAY better then Steve. Let me into heaven.' a) that is so lame. b) How's that going to work? God doesn't compare us to each other. He compares us to perfection. His son, who never screwed up. How am I going to live up? But thats the great thing about the gospel, God takes the flawed, the weak, the screw-ups and saves them. He doesn't pick and choose the best.

Comparing will get me nowhere.

P.S. Apologies ^^ was written way past my bedtime while my head was seething with thoughts, so when I read over it in the morning, I'll probably realize its like thought vomit. Just saying.

Prove it

Its been a week since Jesus died. Your friends are telling you, nono, he's not dead, we promise. 

'He's alive, we saw him.' You kind of give them an awkward smile, and nod, while inwardly rolling your eyes. Pretending to believe them, you just put up with their story. Finally, when they refuse to stop, probably because they can sense your resentment, you give up. You ask for proof.  Finally ... there is silence.

For those of you who don't know the story of Thomas 'The Doubter,' thats pretty much how it goes. It's been a week since Jesus died, and the disciples have seen him, but Thomas misses out, and when he returns the disciples are all like: '"We have seen the Lord!” But he [Thomas] said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe."' (John 20:25)

He wants proof, and in so many ways, I believe the world today is full of mini-Thomas's. They just need proof, then they'll believe. And the same happens to Thomas as happens to many people today; Jesus provides that proof.

Once Jesus appears again, he says 'to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”' (John 20:27) As if thats not enough proof for him.

Jesus does exactly the same to some of the biggest doubters today. Take Lee Strobel - he was an atheist who claimed for  to be 'too smart' for God. But then when he looked deeper into it, the facts astonished him. All of history lined up with Jesus. In his own words he said: 
'I just realized that in light of this torrent of evidence that points so powerfully towards Christianity, it would have required more faith to retain my atheism than to become a Christian. Because to maintain my atheism I would have had to defy the evidence.' 


Now on the other side of thing, Benjamin Franklin said: "To see by faith is to shut the eye of reason." But, when we look at the incredible amount of evidence for Jesus (Lee Strobel's managed to fill a number of books with it, well worth a read), we begin to see how wrong Benjamin Franklin really is.

Ask any reliable, unbiased historian, and I am completely confident that they can tell you Jesus Christ existed, that he taught radical teachings, and it was said he performed miraculous feats. Look up Lee Strobel's story. 

Prove it, you say. It is done. Discover for yourself, the evidence is startling.

To Do List: Learn Contentment

This seems like an overwhelming task, try to learn contentment. The world screams at me that a little is never enough. That bigger is better. And I feel like I'm stuck gasping, breathless, wanting more.

I'm surrounded by hilarious people. And I'm funny. Surrounded by geniuses. And I'm average. Surrounded by musically talented people. And I'm just regaining my voice, too impatient to sit down and learn an instrument. Surrounded by the adventurous, and I'm willing to tentatively step just outside my comfort zone and then excitedly jump back in. I'm surrounded by the humble, and I am so very proud.

It seems like an impossible task, when surrounded by extraordinary people, to be content with just being ordinary.

But I've found something more precious then talent, greater then wisdom, more beautiful then music. I've got God. The guy that created the entire universe, sent his son to live a flawless life and then loved me so much he would watch as nails were hammered through his hands for me. Yea, for me.

You see, the people around me are extraordinary, but my faith is completely extraordinary, extraordinary for a sinner to be completely washed, to be completely loved by the creator of the universe. How crazy is that?? Isn't that something to be content with?

But, how can I learn without being taught, so if you're a Christian, pray that God would teach me to be content with what I've got. Which is massive, bit often feels so little.

I want to be taught to be content with what I've got, even when the world screams to me the opposite.

I want to be content with the creator of the universe willingly going to his death as an act of love for me. That single act of love should make me content, and couple that with the rest of God's love splattered across the pages of the bible, and across the world.

Lasting

Everything in this world is fleeting. Nothing is expected to last. Not jobs, not marriage, not nothing. Should people be changing their weddings to exclude 'til death do we part, to include; 'til you start getting on my nerves, or we have a fight, or I just get a little bored of you?  Things are getting more and more fleeting, and similarly to chaos enhancing my view of the serenity of a tranquil lake. So too fleetingness enhances my view of a stable God. God doesn't change. EVERYTHING in this world comes, and then it goes. Humans, we come for 80 years or so, and then we're gone like a morning mist. Man-made structures, where are they going to be in 10000 years time? Even things in nature, they decompose or, they change. Everything either comes and goes, or stays and changes.

Nothing remains constant but God.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. - Hebrews 13:8

Good Friday

Today is Good Friday. The day we celebrate the cruel, violent torture and subsequent death of the man Christians praise as our life-giver. What's up with that?

It's easy to get confused as to why Christians celebrate this day. But this is the day of victory for Christians. As one of the ministers at church said, Jesus says 'It is finished.' This is not a cry of defeat, or a cry of relief; like; FINALLY, it's finished, goodbye for 3 days. Its a cry of victory, the sinless savior has died to free the sinful from the chains of sin.

But, I'm still waiting for the most exciting day in the Easter trilogy; the day Jesus ROSE FROM THE DEAD. This is where the real victory kicks in, Jesus has broken the chains of death now. Oh my goodness that is insane. Jesus doesn't stay dead. After he DIED, people would have seen him wandering the streets. How weird would that have been. But he  conquers. Christians no longer have to die if they completely trust him. How CRAZY is that? We no longer have to die. How can you ignore that?

For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. - 1 Corinthians 15:31

Extra thought:

Ponder this if you're a Christian, or even if you're not; Jesus, the one that doesn't deserve punishment at all died a very real death. People often have this weird view that it's symbolic of Jesus taking our death, they never say it out loud, but its there. BUT JESUS REALLY DID DIE ONE OF THE MOST EXCRUCIATING DEATHS ... ever and was tortured with on the most brutal instruments of torture, which is probably too brutal to discuss on a public blog such as this. But thank him that he would do that for totally unworthy sinners such as me.

Let Go

Just sitting on the bus, writing down some terrible, but very personal, and deeply emotional lyrics. Finally I arrive at the train station and sit down on the little chair. My friend sees me writing and immediately knows what I'm doing, of COURSE his immediate reaction is to try and get me to show him. I couldn't show him,  I mean they weren't about me, it wasn't about anyone it just felt like my heart on paper, I couldn't show this to him. But minutes later we were discussing raps he wrote, and, intrigued I wanted to see them. I begged him. But, even though it felt like his heart on paper, he would happily hand them over. 

Only now do I see how this is true of all of life for me. All of my personal things (particularly emotions) are kept personal. They're not for the world to see. They're for me to bottle up. Besides emotions are embarrassing. But, I'm quite happy for people to tell me about their emotions. Whats wrong with that picture?? Firstly, bottling does nothing positive. It just gets to the point constantly where I feel like, with my emotions all bottled up, that if someones shakes up this little bottle I created, or even taps it, I will probably explode. And secondly, these people care about me. Especially my Christian brothers and sisters, they care deeply about me. If they care enough to ask, not just out of politeness, but out of love, shouldn't I respond the same. And thirdly and finally, Jesus says I will take your burden from you. My emotions burden me. One of the ways he'll lift it, aside from prayer, is by my brothers and sisters. Sometimes all I need is an ear, and BAM, the burden's gone.

What am I holding to my chest? What do I need to let go of?

Ranking

I was at a primary school reunion today, admittedly - an awkward start, but after a while conversation really started flowing. Then, when the topic of teenage pregnancy came up, one of my friends came out with this: - 'Getting drunk, thats fine, but getting pregnant, thats a little too far.' I was blown away bu the way he thought this one deed was somehow worse then the other. For I know that God views all sin as the same -he hates it ALL. From a 'little white lie' to the violent massacre of thousands. God hates the 'little white lie' just as much as the horrible, bloody massacre of thousands.*

BUT, back to the point I actually want to talk about - I realised I do this all the time. I'm (subconsciously) like 'look, I don't swear or drink, I just lie. And that makes me better.' The words are different, but the motives, at heart, are the same. Its like, I do this, but I don't do that, so I'm alright. NO.

God hates your sin. Be glad that you can be/are forgiven. Be SO glad.

*This is a truth I've learned surprisingly from reading Hosea, listening to John Piper and Val Chan. So know that I didn't just make it up to make you feel bad. Sorry if it's a little intense.

**This was written at a point reaching midnight. Tiredness = severe & potentially makes for a stupid boy. I don't even know if that last sentence made sense.

The View From Outside

Picture this; you're just walking along after grocery shopping, and there's a barefoot teen ahead of you, he's mumbling to himself; a little bit weird. Then he begins to laugh, and you think he must be deranged or something. Then he just strokes his foot on the ground a few times. What a weird child. Yea, that child was me. Let me explain:

Well, to start off with, lets cover this; I don't particularly like wearing shoes. The other day I was walking along, kind of thinking and praying aloud, I realised there was a guy behind me, and being the irrationally-fearful-watched-too-many-CSI-shows type of guy that I am, my mind immediately jumped to a wild conclusion and I was left thinking 'I want my last words to be about Jesus.' And then I realised what I had just thought and began to laugh at myself. After a while a stone got caught in my foot. Yes, IN my foot. So I just rubbed my foot along the ground a couple of times to get it out.

Now, while that may not have been the most interesting story, it does actually have a point. See, to me, what I was doing seemed perfectly logical to me right?? But to him, it just wouldn't have made any sense. Well, I feel as though Christians often seem like the crazy rambling guy (me) in the story. People look into the church, and they hear confusing words & concepts being chucked around like, predestination (the word for God planning out every second of every day,) a perfect God loving an imperfect people, evangelism (telling people about Jesus) and I'm sure there are heaps of others. And the outcome is generally either confusion, or a feeling of exclusion.

Now, people who don't know Jesus, don't be turned off Christianity by Christians.

And Christians; EMPATHISE. Think about how you would be feeling after hearing these words for the first time. And then act on your empathy.

GAH, I really don't feel like I've got my point across very well. But I hope you understand.

Defeatism vs Idealism

Ok, so recently, I've been feeling a little ... defeatist. 'I'll never meet God's standards, I'll never be as passionate as God wants.' 'I'm too proud for God to love me.' And then this will spur me into an excited, 'No, I'm gonna just stop being proud, I'll never have a proud thought again.' 'I'll get so fired up now.'

The first defeatist attitude is entirely pointless, because God's love is UNCONDITIONAL. God's love isn't affected by my pride, by my stuff ups. No, then how could anyone stand before his throne? What could they say?? NOTHING. 'No one is righteous, not even one.' - Romans 3:10. But thats the great thing about God's love; its unconditional.


And my idealist attitude, as my sister would say 'idealisms are so much harder to live out than to say.' So much harder. How powerless am I in the face of these MASSIVE things I'm promising? I'll never be proud? How will I even achieve that?? Impossible. BUT, 'what is impossible with man is possible with God.'  - Luke 18:27. I can't change my heart, my will power is powerless. But God is powerful, so my idealisms need to be played out with trust in God.


So, in the end, I'm never gonna be perfect, God won't love me less. And God is powerful, I need to trust him wholly to help me live out my plans.


Food for thought: One of my friends said this:- 'I know that I don't need to do anything. God meets me where I'm at.'

Not Alone

This is mainly for my bros and sis' in Christ. But hey, if you're not a Christian, feel free come along for the ride if you want ...

Have you ever thought of your faith as an uphill battle? Like you're struggling upstream? Like you're running up the down escalator? Maybe you've thought that it felt wrong. If God loves us, why would He let us go through hard times? Why can't I just be comfortable? Jesus says; 'take up your cross and follow me.' Mark 8:34. Are crosses comfortable? Do you get on a cross and breath a sigh of relief; 'Oh this feels good, I'm so relaxed.' NO! Crosses are one of the most painful instruments of torture to date. Sometimes God's gonna call on us to crazy radical things that people will probably scoff at, maybe thats gonna be the hard thing, the laughter, the glares, the 'you're an idiot' attitude. And hey, sometimes that is really hard to deal with.

BUT ...  something I find comforting when I'm struggling is to know I'm not alone. I'm not the only one who 'has it tough.' Just think about Noah, he was told, while mid-desert, probably clear skies, to build an ark for this flood coming up. Everyone would have walked past, laughed at him, gave him plenty of 'you're an idiot' looks while he was toiling away, working for God directly. How hard would that have been, even the physical part (137m long, 23m wide, 12m high, thats REALLY big for a man and his family to build.) But he fully realised on God. The entire time, he never lets up. And he ends up being saved from destruction.

SO ... in this upstream struggle know that you're not alone, most other Christians are with you. Heck, Jesus is with you, Jesus went through very extreme circumstances for his king. And God's given us his spirit so we're never alone. Take comfort in your turmoil, this is what Jesus says will happen, and he won't abandon you throughout it.

Some more food for thought: "But God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through" - Francis Chen.



Most of these thoughts branch off Scott Petty & Francis Chen.

I will not be moved

I was reading a blog today, it said 'every 2 years you look back on your life and say, man I was an idiot, I was so wrong.' I went upstairs lay on my bed and had self-induced spasms, this is a really weird thing I do when I'm frustrated, but the reason for me doing this was that I didn't want to fall away. I never want to look back and say 'man, I was an idiot for being a Christian, so many wasted years.' Never, ever. I was so frustrated, so scared that I would fall away. And then I read a book that completly redefined what it means to have genuine faith (crazy love by Francis Chen, brilliant.) I never want to fall away. Ever.

You know whats super exciting though?? I'm convicted that I don't plan whats going to happen to me.  God does, and he is good, he is perfect. So his plans will be good and perfect. AAAAND, Ephesians tells me I have been 'sealed with the spirit.' So, my conclusion is that for me to fall away, either my faith is not real. Or God has failed. Which is more likely? The dude that created the universe, has never let civilization down before suddenly decides to fail on me, or that my faith was never genuine. That it was just an act. I need to make ABSOLUTELY sure that my faith is 100% genuine. And that I work on it, never let myself drift downstream, or away from my faith, even just a little.

'I will not be moved,
From this rock in,
Which my feet are welded in.

I will not be swayed,
From this truth,
You have persuaded me of.'




Again, I am very tired, so this may make minimal sense. But hopefully it does, or hopefully you're smart enough to figure it out for yourself :)

Familiarity

Ever noticed how your name is the most normal thing to you? Or your birthday? We often expect these words to hold meaning to others, and to some it will, but to other its a random jumble of letters. Or a random bunch of numbers. But you've writted it out hundreds, probably thousands of times. You've been called by it, probably thousands of times when you think about it.

I feel as though we, Christians do this alot. Because we've so familiarised ourselves with words like 'sin' or 'predestination' or 'redemption.' You have to use your powers of empathy to put yourselves in their shoes. Imagine walking into a random church service and having those rather meaningless (to you) words thrown at you. You'd be a little confused, get bored & off track very quickly,  potentially repulsed at their lack of empathy for you. I would probably be.

Those of you who don't know Jesus as of yet, don't be turned off by fancy words. The truth is more important then words.

So, my brothers & sisters, try to avoid using words that sound familar to you, but to others are plain old confusing. The truth is more important then words.

Light vs Darkness

Been thinking about light & darkness lately, Christians being the light to the world and all.  figured, seeing as it is my birthday, the analogy of candles was appropriate. So when candles appear in a room, the area around it is exposed to light, and the darkness is gone. But when you walk into a room and switch on the light the darkness is completely ERADICATED.

This should almost be called; today vs some day (random thought.)

Today, I am a flame, a small, flickering candles, soon to be snuffed out, (hopefully) illuminating the dark around me.  The source of my light is not from myself, someone (the match) had to ignite the flame. And someone (the candle) has to sustain my flame. In case you hadn't picked up, Jesus ignited my flame, and God sustains it, unlike the candle analogy though, the two are involved in both the ignition and sustaining.

BUT, there's gonna be one day, when all darkness will be eradicated. All the darkness of my own heart, all the darkness of the world will be eradicated. Like think what would happen if you put floodgates into your room, the darkness is just fleeting. Not like butterflies fleet, slowly, carelessly (butterflies are the first things that come into my mind) but like ... ok, the only thing I can think of is darkness & light. But hey, it works. Not just the space around me will be illuminated like in the candle analogy but the whole world.

But, my analogy is not perfect, especially the candle one, because in fact, many candles are consumed by darkness before they are snuffed. Many candles are shrouded in darkness, in their own flaws.

This will probably not make sense to alot of you, it probably won't make sense to me when I read it later on. Anyway, once again Mr. Scatterbrain signing out.

Broken Servant

Broken, unworthy whatever you like to call it, there's no denying it; I'm a failure of a servant. All the time I stuff up, I mean if I were my master, I would have kicked me out of his house a long time ago. Long, long time ago. I mean, if I made a set of laws and my servant just continually broke them, I would have him fired at the very least.

But this is how it is with God, by all means God should just shove me out on the streets and shake his head at all of humanity. But he shows this unconditional love that just blows me away, he loves me, though he is righteous and cannot stand my failure. He loves me, though he is flawless, and I am a cracked, broken human.

I often feel like the aforementioned broken servant (which I am) but, I've come to the conclusion that my sin cannot make God love me any less (this does sound rather contradictory to my statement that God cannot stand my sin, but if your brother or sister or son or daughter is repeatedly annoying, or likewise would you just stop loving them point blank. Ok, some of you might, but you get the point, although this analogy is by no means perfect, rather rushed to be honest.) And my flaws cannot make me any 'less of a Christian,' if a man is missing a leg, does that make him less of a human? NO. If I am flawed, am I any 'less of a Christian.' No, I am human. All Christians in the history of EVER have been failures to God. If they cannot accept this they are WAY too proud.

Anyway, thats all for now. These thoughts don't make a whole heap of sense, almost a cacophony of ideas, but have fun with them.

Weary

Keep in mind, this was written at just passed midnight. 

People often say that they're affected by the seasons, I have to say this is true. Winter in Australia is coming up. It's time when I go into 'emotional hibernation.' So, from now until 'the sun comes out' I have realised that I pretty much just switch off emotionally, since the clouds have come over I have been feeling strange, and I've felt like this for a couple of years now. In summer I get fully pumped and on fire and passionate. But in winter, I'm cold & I'm mentally slower but deeper.

And on top of winter coming, so feeling emotionally out of it, I'm just weary. Weary is the perfect word, kind of more then exhausted, and not just physically exhausted (from longs days and short nights) but emotionally exhausted, 'educationally drowning,' and socially exhausted (finding it harder to love those who its hard to love, finding it easy to stick to my favourite friends.)

And I feel like I have the toughest job, that is making me weary, and other people have it harder, but I want words to speak so that those of you who don't know my Jesus. I love you, I want you to know him, because its the most exciting and most important thing to me, and I want you to be chilling in heaven with me. That would be great, whoever you are, I love you. Let Jesus challenge you. 

'Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28.

You know the only thing that is left to do? Go to him, I need to run to him, I want to fall into his arms. I like the analogy falling into his arms, it means I'm putting complete trust in him and then being in his arms, where I can find rest.

Pride

People like to feel great. We love to feel great about ourselves. Proud is a positive word in our vocabulary. We like to feel like we're good at something. We love to pay other people out so we feel superior. Yet we hate the pride deteriorating pay outs ourselves.We love to feel cool. We love to feel 'in'. We love to feel accepted. We love people telling us what kind, lovable, generous, caring person we are, even if we aren't.

This boils down to man's proud instincts. We are proud by nature, this we know from history, wars because men were to proud to admit their mistakes, millions of deaths because they were too stubborn, too proud to admit defeat. Having kings, queens, chiefs, the 'highest' position so that one person could have the (proud) honor of ruling.

So can you see how proud we are. SO proud. I am one of the worst cases. But there's a greater truth that eclipses our pride. God sent his only child to earth, and then sent him to this instrument of torture to watch him die. For who? For failures, for the proud, for the weak, for the liars, for the jealous, for the cons, for the sexually messed up, for all of the failures. Jesus died for MY pride. Jesus loved me SO much he gave his life for me, even though I am repeatedly too proud to accept him. Thank you Jesus.

'The World is My Stage'

I've acted so well, that I've deceived myself. For SO many years, the world has simply been my stage.

To help you out with this analog, think about this question:
What happens on a stage (or in a play)?
A: A character is created that is different from one self, and then shown to an audience that praises the actor.

This is exactly what has happened for so long. I've played the wise, kind, caring, righteous ministers kid.

Church: has been another stage to play at.
Christian: another character to form.

And I've done it for my audience.

But, I've realised my faith needs to be MORE then just acting. My faith needs to be a complete heart-felt passion. And everything I do needs to be done for God's eyes, I've taken to repeating to myself when doing 'good deeds' (keeping in mind, nothing I do isn't stained by my stuff-ups) 'for you & you alone, for you & you alone.' I need to have HEART-FELT actions for my king. I can have all the wisdom, & kindness in the world, but if I don't have a heart for God, then it counts for nothing. I can act this part so well. But if I have no lasting faith, it means NOTHING.

Abolishing Social Laws #1

There are a few laws in society, not laws put into place by politicians, or enforced by judges. But laws put into place by people, I think most of these are rather subtle rules, that have slowly crept their way into society.

Law #1 is not so much a law, as something thats slowly become accepted by society, I would call it a social norm. 

Law (or norm) #1 probably started off with Sherlock Holmes, mirroring ancient society's  gross infatuation with death. Has nobody else noticed the strange, inexplicable infatuation people have with murder. We'll happily sit on our couches and watch the gruesome, bloody murders on our TV's. Imagine that being thrust in front of your eyes, not on a screen but in real life. How would you feel? Disgusted, right? So WHY are we content to sit and watch it on our screens. Sure, some of them are more about the 'detectives' and their relationships, but the fact remains that you are sitting on your couch, watching the violent, gruesome murder of someone else. When did this become normal.

I want to abolish this social law.

Meaning

I've had a couple of conversations with people where they've talked about saying a word way too many times, so it begins to lose meaning. I've had this experience plenty, and I end up sitting there, feeling like a little bit of a weirdo mouthing the word 'alligator' to myself.

I feel like I've done this with my prayer life, the word Lord has lost all meaning, I've said it SO many times. Seriously a startling amount of times. So, the word has lost all meaning to me, (and I'm sure for many of you who grew up in the church) so I have decided to try and replace the word with King or Ruler, which pretty mean the same thing, and the differences in meaning are irrelevant.

The same has happened with great truths in my life. I constantly need to rebuke (harshly criticize) myself, and point out; Jesus loved you so much that he DIED for you Luke. Jesus was nailed to a cross because you stuffed up over and over. God just spoke and the world was created. Luke, you're a stuff up. These truths should be totally radical to me. All the time.

Bare Minimum

As humans, most of us will put in the bare minimum. Whether its teens doing their homework, or kids doing any sort of work. They'll put in the bare minimum (generally.) This is me ... all the time, I'll put in JUST how much is required, no more, generally a little less.

But, this CANNOT be the same with my faith. No. Jesus doesn't require me to do as little as I can for him. He doesn't even do things by half measures. He calls on me to live my WHOLE life for him. Not just some of it. He (and his friends) tells me to do some pretty crazy stuff that someone only wanted to do the bare minimum would hate doing:

- Pray for your enemies. (Matthew 5:44)

- Suffer for him. (2 Timothy 1:8)

- Forgive everyone, not just the ones its easy to forgive. (Examplified by Jesus, on an instrument of torture, looking at the people who brought it upon.)

-Love everyone, not just the ones who are easy to love. (Inspired by the story of the 'Good Samaritan' (Luke 10:30-35), where the enemy of a bleeding man goes out of his way to help him.)

- There are so many things just scattered across the pages of the bible that show Jesus doesn't just want out bare minimum. So what are you giving to Him? Nothing? Everything? Somewhere in between. Let me challenge you (if you are a 'Christian') to take up your cross right now and live with your EVERYTHING for the king.

Trials

Trials (or if you like, hard times) are coming. Coming soon. I can pretty much feel them coming. Do you know what? God is actually preparing me for them. Leading my eyes to the right verses. Leading my hand to the right book. There would be way too many references to make if I were to list them, so here are the conclusions I've come to:

- God has sealed me with his spirit. Nothing can shake me. Nothing can take his spirit from me.
When I'm going through hard times, I may ignore him, but I will never be taken from him.

- I will say stupid things in trials. People will judge me. Their judgements don't even matter.

- I have a steady rock, that will never shake. People will disappoint. Experience will disappoint. Pleasure will disappoint. God will not. He will stay steadfast strong.

- God won't just support me, but LOVE me. When trials and hard times come, God will love me. No matter if people if love me.

In case you haven't figured out, I want God to be my one & only rock. The one that I turn to in times of despair. Because he's worthy of it. I will fail. People will fail. God will not. He deserves my love.

This doesn't mean I never trust people. People are often worthy of my trust, God is ALWAYS worthy of my trust.

Selfless Service

I think the greatest kind of service is the service that hinders. The kind of service that makes the person actually go out of their way to play out their service. It doesn't sound like fun, but I believe its the greatest.

Jon Foreman agrees; 'I would like to suggest that the best parts of our human nature can be seen in sacrifice or surrender ... moments of unmerited kindness.'

I really like that quote, and I think a great example is my friend, who, on a camp I went on recently, would stay behind pretty much every meal. She would clean, and miss out on stuff. This doesn't sound massively sacrificial, but she had the choice to be outside, where I'm sure she could hear our laughter, and imagine our fun. But she made the choice to stay inside, and serve everyone on camp.

Ok, so that example may not have been relate-able, but I hope you understand the concept. The greatest kind of service is service that hinders & requires sacrifice. Actual sacrifice. Service can be fun, and thats great too, but I'm suggesting that its not as great as hindering & sacrificial service.

Thats all for now. I feel as though this didn't really go anyway, but as ever, I hope you can get something from it :)

I don't know just yet ...

Ok, here's a song without a title. Usual deal; don't want your praise, only God is worthy of praise. This one's a little more cryptic than the others, and I hope you can still take something from it :)

Its a shocking revelation,

That I know line by line,

An inspiring chant,

Bringing my flaws to the floor.

Ho-oh-oh-oh (x4)

Your love has no conditions,

And I am so glad,

An inspiring view,

As I'm watching the king die.

I've so much sin,

To wash away,

But its already done (x2)

Am I waving my white flag,

Do I numbly succumb?

This is how you made me,

Should I even resist?

Ho-oh-oh-oh (x2)

How dare  I say that?

Lend me your strength,

Give me new legs,

To stand firm on.

There's so much guilt,

You cleansed me of,

And all of the shame (x2)

Ho-oh-oh-oh (x4)

How can I stand there and watch you burn?

Dear all of my non-Christ-loving friends,
I want you to know this deep and hurtful concern I have for you. It has almost brought me to tears on VARIOUS occasions (just know, I have pretty much lost my tear ducts, so almost crying = crying a lot.) Do you see how deep this concern is?

Do you want to know the cause of this deep, terrible concern? It is my conviction (not just belief, I am thoroughly convicted of this) that, because of my belief in Jesus Christ, I get to have an unbroken and beautiful relationship with Jesus for all of eternity. But, it is also my conviction, that you will not be with me in eternal awesomeness. This saddens me above all other things.

I dare you, I implore you, I challenge you to challenge Christ. Come to His people with questions. Every question can be answered, for ever question has an answer. Of this I am sure.

Lovingly beyond measure,
Luke.

Maturity & Genuinity

I'm often discouraged when I see Christians who are more mature and wise in my faith. At points it has even made me doubt my own faith, as I look at them and wonder why I am not like them. If I love Jesus, just like they do, why am I not like them? Why do I still struggle with things I have never seen them struggle with.

HOWEVER, I have come to a conclusion; if a person is less mature or less wise then another, does that make them any less of a person? NO, in my mind, the same is true of Christians. If one is less mature then others it doesn't make them any less of a Christian. God doesn't require maturity, He doesn't require anything. I don't need maturity or wisdom, all I need to do is trust God, and love God.

Something that I also feel discouraged by, is when someone makes a long & beautiful prayer and all I can say is; You are amazing God. And my prayer suddenly seems worse. Not as worthy. BUT God doesn't care about the words I say, he cares about the sincerity of my prayer. Both of us can be sincere, and genuine in our prayer. I can be just as genuine in my 4 words compared to their 5 minute prayer.

I also feel as though the temptation for the person with the long prayer is there to pray for man's eyes and not God's. The temptation is there for them to be working to receive praise for their prayer, and for people to think 'You're such a great Christian.'

God doesn't care about length, or beauty in our prayer; wisdom or maturity in our Christian walk (while they are great attributes.) He cares about genuinity & sincerity of our prayer; trust & love in our Christian walk.

Side note: genuinity is not a word, I use it because it fits and sounds cooler than genuineness.

Privileged

I am so privileged. SO privileged. And so ungrateful.

I have enough food on my table to feed me and my entire family. I have enough food to have likes and dislikes. To be able to say 'I don't really eat that.' Instead of (the 9 million people) eating to survive, and having to take whatever comes at them.

I have a doctor just up the road. Within WALKING distance. I have friends that go to the doctor, essentially, so they can miss school. To get a certificate to prove their slackness. Instead of people living in MUCH poorer conditions, much poorer hygiene and they have NO medical aid, no money for the doctor, they are simply left to die.

GAH, there is SO much more I could rant about but I want to make 2 final points;

Do you know the difference between me and the 9 million starving and dying people? Where I was born. Thats the only difference. It all comes down to where I was lucky (and privileged) enough to be born.

Now, do you want to THE single greatest privilege I have? Knowing Jesus Christ.

The fact that he (the infinitely powerful & infinitely perfect Jesus) would reach down his hand to pull me (impossibly weak & impossibly rebellious me) to his kingdom.

AND, the people who are starving and sick ... they can look forward to the next life in Jesus. They can feel the burn and know that they're gonna be spending eternal paradise with Jesus. There is SO much hope in Jesus.

Jesus: The rock

Where someone builds a house affects the way they build it right?

WELL ...

I've been reading through the gospel of Matthew and the analogy I've heard a thousand times came up. The Wise Man who build his house on the Rock, and the foolish man who builds his on the sand. The way that Jesus then talks about the wise mans foundations being on the rock. Being fully built on the rock.

This means for me; I need to live like I am built ON the rock of Jesus. I can't build my life around the rock, my foundations will crumble and fall. This should shape and change me, as I said at the start, where someone builds a house affects the way they build it right? Its true with my life as well, if my life is built on solid, beautiful and wonderful foundations this should shape the way I live.

I should be living with eternity in mind all the time, I should be living with my morals in check, for I live ON the rock. Not just a few things need to change, the entire way I build my house needs to have SOLID foundations.

I also enjoy the picture of Jesus as a rock. Unchanging. Stable. Trustworthy.


P.S. I'm really sorry, I feel like I've rambled, and the articulation of my non-formed thoughts isn't great either. Hope you still take something from this.

'Floodgates'

Yes, this is a song that I wrote. But no, this is not a time when I want to hear praise for me.

All glory to God, the creator and designer;

My sin got nailed to the tree,

But I'm still king of apathy,

His love runs deeper then the ocean,

But I still turn my back,

Regularly.

But the floodgates are open wide,

His arms reaching down to us,

But we swat it away,

And watch our lives decay,

The floodgates are open wide,

His love's pouring out on us.

So I will love you back,

And I will lift my voice on high,

And I will praise you forever,

And I will shout your name from,

The rooftops.

But the floodgates are open wide,

His arms reaching down to us,

But we swat it away,

And watch our lives decay,

The floodgates are open wide,

His loves pouring down to us.

Lord, its nothing I've done,

That will gain me salvation,

Its by your grace and your love,

That you accepted me,

Into your kingdom.

So I will love you back,

And I will lift my voice on high,

And I will praise you forever,

And I will shout your name from,

The rooftops.

But the floodgates are open wide,

His arms reaching down to us,

But we swat it away,

And leave our bodies to decay,

The floodgates are open,

His loves pouring down to us.

 Out of your love you made us,

And out of your love you saved us,

And while we deserved your wrath,

You poured it on your Son instead.

So I will love you back,

And I will lift my voice on high,

And I will praise you forever,

And I will shout your name from,

The rooftops.

So the floodgates are open wide,

His arms reaching down to us,

But we swat it away,

And leave our bodies to decay,

The floodgates are open,

His loves pouring down to us.

Yet too many times,

I find myself,

Wandering off,

Ignoring the love,

He poured down on us.

But I will love you back,

And I will lift my voice on high,

And I will praise you forever,

And I will shout your name from,

The rooftops.

So the floodgates are open,

His arms reaching down to us,

But we swat it away,

And leave our bodies to decay,

The floodgates are open,

His love pouring down to us.

'If only ...'

I often think in 'if only's.' The biggest one: If only I had a better singing voice I would be content..

If only. If only.

I need to radically change this in my life. And I think I know the problem. I don't trust God's great plan enough. Nowhere near enough. If I trusted God's plan it would be 'only if.' Like the 'Lord's Prayer' says, not my will but yours. Do you know how radical that is? To cast everything onto God's will and know that his will is perfect, and so I need to trust it? Its crazy.

I think I need to change If only's. to Only if's. Only if  it's God's will will I get a better voice. Only if it's God's plan.

I need to FULLY rely on God's plan for my life. I need to learn to be content with what I've got. With what God has so graciously given me. And if the only thing I feel I can cling onto to be content with is my faith, then thats totally fine. Because that's God's greatest gift; the fact that he would choose out a sinner to be his servant. And I'm not just his servant. I'm his son.

Gone from being a sinner, to a servant, to a son who he rejoices over. I should be content with that.

'Father forgive them'

I find it so hard to forgive someone when they've done some against me, whether its a small thing, or a massive thing. I've been angry at someone for being friends with my brother. I didn't forgive them in my heart for a while, because they're my friend right? Such a small thing, and I was so angry over it.

But, there on the cross, after being persecuted by the religious leaders for ages, after being whipped and brutally tortured, after so much agony, do you wanna know what Jesus says?

It's not what I would say, I would be screaming at them, telling them they're fools for killing the innocent man, the Lord of all creation. But no, 'Jesus said, "Father forgive them, for the do not know what they are doing." -Luke 23:24' How hard would that have been to say? After all that agony and persecution, father, FORGIVE them? FORGIVE them. I think this verse is overlooked too much, because its incredible.

'Forgive us our debts,
As we also have forgiven our debtors.' Matthew 6:12

Jesus forgave his murderers, shouldn't I forgive all of my debtors? Not just the petty things? I need this to radically change me.

Faith like leather

This post is specifically aimed at people who claim to be Christian:

Faith (specifically Christian faith) is actually a lot like leather in my thoughts, I mean, leather doesn't have the same gift of salvation BUT ... there are two types of leather. There's the genuine stuff, the kind you buy in Italy, and it just lasts forever (I use this particular reference because my parents just bought me a leather bag from Italy.) But then there's the imitation leather, the kind that looks really good, looks really similar to the genuine stuff but fades & gets tatty after a while.

Just like this, there are the Christians that pray all the right prayers, sing their lungs out at church, encourage everyone with the right words, read their bible everyday and every night. But their motives are selfish, and highly attention seeking. They sing their lungs out, so everyone can hear, they encourage so everyone can see how great they are. How do I know these are their motives? Because that was me. And sometimes I still do these things to show off.

And then there are the Christians who genuinely pray to build up their relationship with God, who sing their lungs out to woship God and to encourage those around them, and who use their words of encouragement to GENUINELY encourage those around them.

The difference? Understanding. A 'Christian' can have all the knowledge in the world about their faith. They can use that knowledge to encourage. But the difference comes when they understand. They can know that Jesus died for them. And then they can understand that the ruler and designer of this entire world loved them so much he would die one of the most agonizing deaths imaginable reserved for the lowest of criminals. They can even know that without coming fully to grips with it. They can know that 'In the beginning God created the heavens and earth' and then they can understand that God has created and perfectly designed every beautiful thing they have ever laid their beautiful eyes on. And he perfectly created the wonderful things that we cannot see. Like our brains.

So is your faith genuine or imitation?