Act the Part #2

The thing about people acting, is that you often don't realise that they're acting. You think they are that character. And thats what happened to me, and IS happening to so many people right now. People act like they're Christians & convince everyone around them & sometimes even themselves that they love Jesus. And everyone believes it.

I was shocked when someone told me God sees my heart.  He sees my heart. How can I possibly fool Him? 'False face must hide what face heart doth know.' But God saw my false heart, and he sees through my false face.

Blergh, my thoughts are silly ... its far too late at night to be thinking. But I needed to say this. It needed to be said. I just hope I said it well ...

Act The Part

I can play the part of 'the good little Christian boy' to perfection. I've sharpened this little asset so much over the year, I've learned how to speak, how to pray, how to look when I'm singing, how to answer question. Especially the last one, I used to get so bogged down in the quest for the right answer, I missed the whole point of Christianity. A relationship. Thats what Christianity is ... a relationship.

Right now, I yearn for that relationship more then anything., and I yearn for a relationship that just consumes the rest of my life, that every part of my life would be subsumed.

Jesus, take my heart, take my life, take my everything. Consume me.

Regret

There are SO many times in my life I wish I could go back and do over. So many time in my life where I wish I could go back in time and punch my little self in the face, and then tell him off. Or tell myself NOT to say something, or do something.

Regret to me is all of the above. Those moments of stupidity that I just replay ... over and over in my head. Most of them ... actually, come to think of it ALL of them are things that I've been caught 'red-handed' doing, or have been in a conversation and someone's spotted something's amiss.

Maybe this shows me who I'm concerned with pleasing? People, who by the next time I see them will have forgotten my 'embarrassing moment.' Or ... The God who knows my heart & who has ALREADY forgiven me, laid down his life for me & will love me eternally. I'm gonna go with that option. But sometimes its hard for me to understand that when I can't see Him, but people are right in front of me, and they're just so easy to please ... and displease.

Gah, sometimes my scrambled thoughts don't even make sense to me, so I hope they make sense to you.

A god we can trust.

I've been reading Daniel lately, Daniels a great little book in the bible; but its almost like every page I turn, God's doing something INSANE through Daniel. Daniel has no option but to trust God. And boy does God come through.

So the story starts off as Daniel's people are being exiled to Babylon, and he (as an Israelite) is fed on fancy food - like meat & wine. But he (& friends) refuse, on behalf of Jewish law. After a few weeks, they're all 'medically' tested and found to be just as strong and healthy as the others.

Then he tells the king what he dreamed & interprets it perfectly.

Then his friends get chucked into a fire SO hot that the guards delivering them to the furnace burn up and die. Somehow they survive.

Then Daniel correctly predicts the future.

Then he gets thrown into a den filled with hungry, savage lions ... and survives.

So, Daniel puts his faith in God, and God comes through. This is the same God I worship today, He's the same yesterday, today and forever. He's not going to change. So I can put that same trust in the same God. And He'll come through. He'll save me from anything - so why am I so afraid to proclaim His name?

Tickin' the boxes

I feel like lately, I've been slipping into something I used to do, someone I used to be.  Doing things just so I can say (or so God can know) that I've done them. Its as though I go through life with a little list of things to do in my day (pray, read the bible, pray on the way to school, don't swear, keep a cool head, don't get too bossy etc.) And then, God's gonna love me. Hurrah. Or, and then, I'll be accepted by my people. Hooray.

Ultimately, I reckon it boils down to my view of God. Is he easily impressed. Or does he know my heart fully? I'm gonna go with the second option hey? God knows if I'm just doing it to impress, or to 'gain his blessing' and well ... frankly ... it doesn't impress him. Not at all. He wants full devotion to him, not half-hearted box-ticking.

My thought-train just kind of crashed. Unfortunately all passengers were killed. So it looks like thats as far as I'm going ...

P.S. Sorry for the lame joke ... I'm very tired.

Overflowing

I often use phrases like 'overflowing with praise' or 'just filled up so much, that I overflowed with contempt.'

Pretty recently I've been totally underflowing with praise. I can barely keep it up for 3 sentences. Not only until recently have I been empty with my praise ... the really odd thing is this happens almost every year, around this time of the year, I think I've said this before, but the clouds come out, and I just get bogged down. I don't enjoy myself as much, I'm nowhere near as joyful. But the other odd thing is that I think more, and I dig deeper inside myself. And I'm more content, while being less joyful and exuberant.

Anyway, I'm really challenged to praise God in all situations. Pray for me.

The Complacent Christian

If you follow Christ, this is probably more directed at you then those who don't. Sorry.

What the heck?? Does a complacent Christian even exist?? This is how wordweb.com defines complacent: contented to a fault with oneself or one's actions. Umm ... yea.

I've seen a number of far older & far more mature Christians just peppering their conversations with swearing (and not even feeling bad, or feeling sorry.)

Hello?? 'Hate what is evil, cling to what is good.' Romans 12:9.

1 Peter 2:12 says: 'Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.'

Some would argue that the bible never mentions swear words specifically Firstly: thats a stupid argument. Secondly: ... DUH!! The bible was written 2000+ years ago, and most swear words came about 40 years ago.

Again, some would argue that its all about the intention, I would bring them back 1 Peter 2:12. How would a non-Christian react to someone blurting out swearing. Would it bring glory to God, or detract from it??

Sorry, my thoughts aren't collected, but I hope you understand.

I will never ...

I pray that I will never (or never again) :-

- Be content to just 'fit in.' Instead of being like a city of light on a hill, in a world full of darkness. (Matthew 5:14-16)

- Have wisdom for the sake of wisdom. I want ... I NEED wisdom for the glory of God. I don't want to even be ok with wisdom for self-glorification.

- Fall away from Jesus. You see, Jesus is constant, Jesus is a rock that never moves, (just look at Hebrews 13:8.) I however, am a man, a fickle man. I know that the relationship I have right now with Jesus is real, and that it goes both ways, but I pray that never will I let him chase after me, while I float down the easy path, too lazy to change course.

- Hide things from my family in Christ.

- Let feelings come before fact. My relationship with Jesus is based on fact, cold, hard fact; fact that he existed, the truth of his claims etc. And emotions fluctuate, they go up and down, and sure there will be times in my walk when things are down, but I want to know the fact that Christ is king before I feel it.

Pray for me?